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Bacon Stupidity – The True Story

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no baconYes, I really, really did eat nothing but bacon for a few days short of an entire month. Once the whole thing started to seem sort of, I don’t know, silly – is that the word I’m looking for? – and my family was growing increasingly frustrated with the stunt, I thought it might be fun to pull our little media satire (for better or worse… heh heh…) Despite my earlier non-apology apology, I do ask your bacony, smoky, forgiveness.

More details after the jump, to spare those who would rather die than read another #$(*& word about… that stuff.

It wasn’t that difficult (other than social situations), really, and if anyone wants to follow my lead and actually complete a month of it, I do (with the aforementioned reservation) recommend it. A good broiler is the key as you will drive yourself mad with clean up if you try to do it all on the stove top.

If you were making the transition from a regular diet to the bacon diet, the first few days, maybe even a week or more, would be hell (I didn’t have to adapt because I’m pretty close to a zero carb man as it is — fascinating, I know). You’d most likely experience flu symptoms and brain fog as you adapted to using ketones as fuel as opposed to glucose. Once you adapted, though, you do feel great, have no cravings, can easily skip meals, never have need of snacks, you’ll probably lose weight, your blood pressure will go down, and you will leave behind you a tantalizing whiff of savory smoke.

Slab bacon was easily my favorite, and in the end Neuske’s won hands down (I will add, in the interest of full disclosure, that the fine people there sent Kevin and I some free bacon after they saw that we had praised it so much). It’s a very, smoky bacon, which I love, but it may be too strong for some. Tip Top’s was my next favorite, followed by Henry’s.

Unless you have any other specific questions, why don’t we make this the last time I ever type the word bacon?


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